Not A Date

Our teenaged daughter burst through the door from an afternoon practice with her friend close behind.  Before she could really breathe or even take stock of what was happening in the house, her request tumbled out.

"I just got asked on a blind date for tonight!  May I go?"

Her friend had a date and he had asked her to get dates for his two friends, though nobody could say who those other boys were.  My husband raised his eyebrows and suggested that a blind date might mean something a little different.

"What's the plan?" he asked.

The group was to leave in only an hour to attend a jazz band concert at the university, followed by ice cream.  They would be home by eleven.

Because we considered the girl and guy arranging the activity to be trustworthy, we consented.

Shortly before eleven, our daughter returned.

"That was not a date!" she said.

Why not? we wondered.  How did the evening stack up to the Three P's?

There was a Plan, but it was not very thorough -- and arrangements were not made very far in advance.  My sister-in-law says her parents nixed day-of dates out of hand, because they are inconsiderate and are generally not well-prepared.  Part of the reason may have also been that they lived out of town and their family needed to make arrangements; whatever the reason, pressure to go on a date at the last minute is generally a bad sign.

The plan was sabotaged a bit at the beginning, for our daughter was dressed in time but waited nearly an hour for the group to arrive.  When they pulled up, the boys were rushed and were overly casual with my husband -- to the point of rudeness.  It nearly ended there!

Were people Paired up?  Not really.  The boys had nominal dates, but it turned out that four boys rode in the van with the three girls.  The original couple stayed together, but the other three boys sat together on the back row of the van, using their cell phones and discussing an absent girl they thought was hot.  The boys sat together in a row at the concert, leaving the girls to sit in a row to their right.  There was little interaction between them, even as they walked:  the boys hung back and only the boy who originally organized the evening walked girls to their doors.  The lack of civility was so obvious, the dateless boy kept chiding the others to encourage them to talk to their dates!

Who Paid for the evening's events?  The tickets came free.  It sounds like the high school band teacher wanted his group to date, so he passed out tickets in pairs.  The boy without a date had asked a girl who was also in the band and she attended the concert with her mother.  By the time they were ready for dessert, my daughter figured she'd better buy her own treat, but the fellow who arranged the date was gracious enough to buy dessert for all three girls.  That does not sound like a date.

Interestingly, by the time the group arrived at our house to start the date, the others were eating out of fast food bags.  They had already gone out to eat and were still munching when they picked up the last two girls.  This was inconsiderate, since they were both late and eating in front of the girls who had not been included in the dinner plans.

Happily, the music was enjoyable and the evening was both safe and instructive -- but this group activity should not have been billed as a date.

No, this was not a date!

Photos from sxc.hu.