Having a Ball

A few years ago our family attended a New Year's activity in the community in Oregon where I grew up.  It was a stake evening, planned with events for all ages.  Activities included Karaoke, ping-pong, video games, board games and a dance.  We noticed that folks wanted to dance; they flooded into the room when they heard a song they could move to.  Unfortunately, danceable songs were few and far between and most of the tunes were actually offensive.  Few people really knew any dance steps.

One of the organizers had brought a CD of line dances.  We observed that the room filled with dancers when she called for one of her songs and showed the corresponding moves to the group.  As we drove home we talked about our experience and outlined ways to create a more successful event.

Why do we care about dances and what do people hope to get from a ball?  A girl likes to dress up and, practically from the cradle, girls fantasize over spending the evening with a gracious gentleman who wants her company.  My husband assures me that boys like the chance to hold girls in their arms, but they hate to feel like fools.  Dancing can be a lot of fun, if the dancers know how; somehow, though everyone makes the effort to be costumed aright, Prom and other fancy dances consistently fall short of their romanticized expectations of this "essential high school experience."

If people are willing to come with high hopes, why are so many dances duds and what can be done to make a ball into a dream-come-true?  We began asking friends and family members from different areas and varied generations for input and suggestions.

Our conclusions?  Good dances are part of a larger context and some things are essential to create a tradition of successful dances: a core group of committed people who continue to invite others to share their vision; appropriate, danceable music; dance instruction and a chance to practice new steps; and a suitable venue.

We decided we were committed and began previewing and assembling music.  We learned and practiced dance steps at home.  We tried experiments with ward and youth activities and even at a family reunion.  We tried to share our vision.  At last, when my sister got involved, we began to experience what we had dreamed was possible.

My sister rented a beautiful hall near her home for six Friday nights over the next year.  She involved her friends who enjoy ballroom dancing and expanded on the original list of music.  She invested in audio and video equipment and got some fancy serving trays.  She has pored over hours of music and purchased a few appropriate music video clips to provide short breaks during the evenings.  She sent out invitations and came up with elegantly simple decorations and made refreshment assignments.  Then the fun began!

It has taken awhile to make the evenings match the dream, but it is surely happening.  Whole families attend.  Mixers help remove the age barriers.  We have noticed that children in their 'tweens are not too self-conscious to ask anyone to dance and their willingness to learn is contagious.  Even though some of the teens are on ballroom dance teams, everyone benefits from the brief social dance instruction at the beginning: one step is taught each night and that evening's music includes a wide range of songs appropriate to the featured step.

This is a big deal, and not just because we drive two hours each direction to attend.  Naturally, my daughters look forward to each evening, designing appropriate ballgowns we make together:  these events provide the impetus to share valuable homemaking skills.  The bigger deal is that both sons and daughters, regardless of their respective ages, are learning social skills and service.  And, unlike many overpriced school dances, these evenings are fun.

The effort is worth it, as we are having a ball -- even if relatively few people are willing to catch the vision.  Fewer than one in five invited families has ever attended, but my sister and her friends continue to invite neighbors.  My nephew, a senior, participates in the student government of his high school and serves on the dance committee. After helping his mother host a couple of these dances, he tried to share the vision of what the school dances could be like, but it fell on deaf ears.  "You don't know what I've seen!" he lamented.  Maybe believing is seeing.

My sister has remarked that, prior to this, she had never experienced dances that work; now, the example of her commitment is spreading.  Our children are talking of ways to replicate the experience among their friends -- and our ward has even planned a family dance for next month.  Because we have seen it, we know we can make it happen, too.


All photos from sxc.hu.  Tango photo courtesy of Watje11; CD by Cieleke.